Real Wedding Vows for Parents – What I Would Write Now…
Real Wedding Vows for Parents – What I would Write Now
Did you write elaborate vows for your wedding? I remember agonizing for hours over our wedding vows. I knew I didn’t want to say I would ‘obey’ my husband, but what to write instead?
At one stage I found some Dr Seuss inspired wedding vows, and I very nearly convinced my fiance (now husband) that these would be the way to go. Unfortunately, in the end, he vetoed them and we settled for a reading from ‘Oh, The Places You’ll Go’ by Dr Seuss instead.
We travelled to Sydney for a wedding recently, KID FREE, and while listening to the wedding vows, I started to think about the wedding vows we SHOULD have said, and not the wedding vows we DID say.
(Note – the wedding was amazing! One of the best weddings I have been too and the bride and groom are a lovely couple – it was so full of love I cried the whole way through)
I almost think that someone should have warned me that I would find little relevance for ‘promising to honour you’ when the baby has had a poo explosion, AGAIN, or when every. single. one. of. them. has gotten up overnight.
Would I really be worried about ‘for richer, for poorer’ when I have haemorrhoids from birthing 3 babies?
How do I find the time to be his ‘best friend always’ when I barely even have time to get my shave my legs, and there is a child attached to me every minute of every day?
It’s very hard to always ‘be patient and show respect’ for each other when we haven’t had a full nights sleep in 6 years and we both are really good at playing ‘crying baby chicken’ aka ‘who can pretend to be asleep the longest’ until the other one gets up instead.
(Oh, come on, you know you all do it).
As well you would know, your whole world changes the instant that baby is in your arms, and it kind of seems wrong to have said your marriage vows based on the life you have before kids vs the life you have now, and the life you will have for longer.
So here is what I think your wedding vows should say if you are planning to become parents anytime in the future.
Real Wedding Vows for Parents
I, (name), take you, (name) to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward.
With sleep or without, during the terrible twos, and the newborn stage, in nappies and during toilet training, to love (if you’ve done the dishes), and to cherish (but only before 9pm) from this day forward and until the kids move out.
I will try to remember a time before children, and will make sure that a romantic dinner isn’t Uber Eats in front of the TV after the kids are in bed.
We will have a conversation a day that doesn’t involve the kids.
I promise not to scream how much I hate you during childbirth.
When you come home, I will wait 5 minutes before I hand you the baby (who hasn’t let me put them down all bloody day).
I hope you can recognize that motherhood will irreversibly change me, and that you will come on this journey with me.
I, (name), Take you, (name) to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward.
With sleep or without, during the terrible twos, and the newborn stage, in nappies and during toilet training, to love (if you let me develop a dad bod), and to cherish (but only before 9pm – this rule is stupid) from this day forward and until the kids move out.
I promise to get up to the baby sometimes, even if I have to work the next day.
I will never ask what you do all day if you are home with the kids.
I vow that I will never, ever, tell anyone what you really looked like giving birth, nor tell you that you really did poo a little bit.
I promise to love you even when you haven’t brushed your hair in days and you have baby spew on your shirt.
I will recognize that motherhood will change you, just as fatherhood has changed me, and promise that we will travel the path of parenthood together.
Celebrant: I now pronounce you Mum and Dad – go forth and love your children.
Are there any that you would add?
Would you change your wedding vows if you were parents already?
Katie is the Managing Director and Editor at Mums of Brisbane. Most days will find her drinking coffee, playing lego, superheroes, and managing a thriving business. She lives with her husband and three children in beautiful Brisbane. You can read her story here.